In what I regarded as a time for necessary change in my life, I met a lady called Dorothy Fosbrooke. This meeting coincided with my search for something meaningful about the purpose of life, to which, in spite of much research, I had never received any answer so far.
I listened to philosophical debates, and studied some religions in depth, without encountering anything which would explain the meaning or purpose of life in any common sense way. I knew that mysticism and magical ways (miracles) would not lead me to the solution of any of life’s mysteries or problems.
It was such a relief to meet someone who applied common sense and practicality to the so-called ‘mysteries of life’. This all raised questions about certain aspects of life and principles which I did not agree with. Upon further studying of these aspects, I realised one thing had to change – either views I already held or the new way of looking which I was taught by Dorothy. The two ways were not compatible, and I realised the old ways had not worked in any satisfactory way. So, out with the old and in with the new. In the case where these new ideas, or ways of viewing aspects of life, clashed, something had to change, either acceptance of the new ways introduced to me, or the old, set ways of thinking which I was used to.
The question seemed to be – had my old ways served the purpose? In other words, had they been a success or a failure? It was obvious that I would not be considering new ways if the old ones had been a success. I definitely did need a new way of thinking. Principles, which I had always looked to, and almost revered, had to make way for the new. I considered writings and even television programmes about the type of people who were classed as ‘hoarders’ to be a demonstration of stupidity when pictures of their homes were shown. The programmes show clearly the reluctance of people to change even this ridiculous and harmful habit. The people in question were often the most reluctant to give up their old ways, old possessions. But, where hoarding is concerned, physical objects are much more obvious than ways of thought, and the stupidity of holding onto such thoughts is not always recognised.
When modernising a home, or even a room, to introduce Victorian objects into a clean, modern style, would be incongruous and destructive of the style you wanted to convey. But the same applies with sets of thought; there is a clash, a whole new picture is not presented, if outmoded ideas are allowed to slip into a modern theme.
I used to be a firm believer in principles and, once accepted by me, it became almost a matter of honour to hold them to me, almost as if they had become a part of me. They seemed to be as the pillars of a structure, and new ones were made to fit in, as far as I could make them, with my older, fixed ones.
I became the hoarder of ideas or principles, as if they were written in stone – or at least given permanent status. Decisions became more and more difficult to make in my struggle to satisfy both old and new, sometimes directly clashing, ideas or principles. What had become a matter of honour in the preserving of both old and new, became a futile struggle to serve two masters, as the old saying goes.
It was most often a matter of a clash between the old ideas/principles of religion and local customs I had grown up with, versus a common sense realisation of newly acquired ways of thought.
I then realised that I had to decide whether to be a slave to the established ideas and principles of others, which I had felt compelled to accept up to that point, or to become a free thinker.
It was then that I came to my decision to give up principles and to embrace ideals.
"The sparkle in your eyes, the sunlight in your hair - the way you hold your head, I know you truly care."
The Singer not the Song, but the Writing, not the Writer.
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